Insights on Relationships

Here's something on relationships. Some of it is love, others are infatuation. I'm sure that we can distinguish between the two.

1. The relationship happens suddenly, after meeting once or twice.
No, I'm not normally attracted to someone until I know them somewhat well (ie they're pretty much my friends). I might like someone, but that's about it. This falls under infatuation.

2. You think of the other person as well as yourself.
A healthy relationship definitely needs this. You don't want to think of your partner as less than you. Unfortunately for me, I normally think of the other person as higher than me...I should work on that.

3. You continue to grow as independent human beings, while the relationship becomes stronger and deeper.
This is key to a good relationship. I'll be happy when this happens...mostly in a sense that this is something I can definitely work on, and am working towards. Of course, it's hard to put it in practice without a relationship to practice it in lol.

4. You depend on your partner to feel good about yourself.
I know I need to work on this because I sometimes do this even with people I'm not in an actual relationship with. It's like PJ said, you need to love yourself before you can really love other people.

5. The relationship develops slowly, naturally and sincerely.
Yea, that was my mistake (although I didn't think I wanted more than to just be growing...somewhere...I'm a quality time type of person). We're young. Don't rush things.

6. One of you may have more to get from the relationship than to give to it.
Don't think I'll ever have this problem. It's my nature to give no matter if I get anything or not.

7. There is honesty and trust between you.
This is obviously necessary. There needs to be honest communication and you need to trust that the other person isn't cheating on you when he hangs out with other people (that'll just make you paranoid...but it's hard with all that stuff going on these days).

8. One of you may become jealous of the other's activities or friends.
Definitely infatuation. I struggle with this sometimes, whether I'm in a relationship with another person, or not. This ties into not loving my own self enough.

9. The relationship is usually based on physical attraction.
Haha yea well that helps. I like to think that I like the personality and soul of a person a lot better. It is that, that affects me.

10. Both of you can accept the fact that neither is perfect.
Already done. We go into it knowing that we're not perfect. No, I don't like to put myself in painful situations like someone might think. But they're inevitable because...we're not perfect. Everyone gets thrown into them. You can either run away, or stand your ground and work it out.

11. Each of you continues in other parts of your life: family, work, ideas, and other friends...
Yes, this is part of growing as individuals, as well as growing. When both of you are growing, then it is easier to grow somewhere together. All this stuff becomes intertwined after a while...same friends, work style, etc.

12. The relationship remains as strong in painful, difficult times as in happy times.
I would say that in some cases, it actually has. Unfortunately, I have some attachment issues that I was not aware of in my first relationship, so yea the painful times were rather many. Now I've realized that mistake, and am waiting for a second chance that...unfortunately I may never get. So that part is painful in itself. I never really got to put anything into practice, and I'm still sitting in this old mushpot of old bad feelings because...there's nothing I can do. I don't have a chance to move forward. I only have a chance to run away instead...which sadly it seems I might have to do.