Minnesota

Whew. It's been quite a past few days. [I'm getting pretty annoyed on my laptop because for some odd reason, my "U" key doesn't quite work normally. I have to press it down really hard for it to type a "U". Ugh...] On Sunday night, I got pretty much no sleep because I was moving to Highland all day and then sending out last minute messages and doing work work all night. I took a shower at 3:30am, proceeded to work some more, and then fell asleep by 5:30am. I was up and about by 8am and scrambling to do some last minute rummaging from my old place and drove over to my new place to pack for my week-long trip to snow-cold Minnesota. My ride up to SFO was to leave at 9am and I hadn't started packing yet...shewt.

I was ready by 9:30am and I headed out with PJ, Marc, and Tyler up to Cameron's new place in Dublin. What a beautiful place they have. I think they only moved in a few months before. We had lunch and headed out to take BART all the way to SFO. It was a fun adventure. I can't believe that I didn't pass out on the way there from lack of sleep. We were able to get to the airport, through all the security and to our gate without any problems. All the other people we were meeting at the gate seemed to get there right on time as well.

Off we flew on our 5:50pm flight out of SFO directly to Minneapolis, MN. I sat next to a wonderful girl around my age named Kayla. We had the most interesting conversation the entire four hours of the flight about backpacking, traveling, Europe, relationships, and medical topics. To my right was an older man (86?) named Dick who loved to talk about his life as a teacher, his current partial ownership of an Irish Pub called Merlin's Rest, and his own medical issues. We all laughed a lot and I'm delighted in a new friend. I feel like I'll see her again someday. :)

After getting off the plane and grabbing our bags, we checked to make sure our buddy was there (Ebrah, you there buddy???) and headed off in our rental vans (oh yea, and after the snowball fight) to Rushford...about a 2.5 hour drive south-east. Got into the church bunkers by 2:30am and proceeded to get settled in and hit the sack. Once I was out...I was ouuuuuut lol.

Woke up by 9am (I should mention this is 7am California time), ate breakfast, and headed out for an orientation and off to work. We worked in someone's basement (I hope we get to meet her!) pulling out nails and screws from bare beams (sheet rock and insulation had already been torn out). By lunchtime, we had ordered new Styrofoam insulation and were cutting and sizing them into pieces to fit between the wooden beams. We got through about halfway before wrapping up to head home for dinner. Shower and bible study on hospitality followed with some hang out time and discussion on random topics afterwards leading up to now.

They're all asleep now and the place is dark and quiet. I've got to finish planning my own devotional for tomorrow night and keep tabs on what goes on during the day so I can write a more formal article on all this later. We've already taken a lot of awesome pictures lol. I guess my last thing is that there is something wrong with my lower left leg (kind of just above my ankle). I don't know what it is, but it hurts a lot to touch, move, walk on, everything. Pretty much it is somewhat uncomfortable at all times unless I'm sitting and have it elevated. Doing things like walking or moving the skin or my foot is pretty painful. I keeps me from being more exciting during the day because I don't want to move much or dance around merrily with my power drill and hammer. It really bothers me, but I don't know what to do about it and I don't want other people to be bothered by it. I'm thinking something along the lines of a hairline fracture, but I really don't think that's what it is. All I did was accidentally walk into something two days ago. There's not even a big bruise or anything. I'm baffled, but hoping it goes away on its own.

Okay, bedtime. I'm the last one awake and also the one who needs sleep the most! G'nite world!

Divided

Happy Easter! Again! Lol get this...so I take a much needed shower this morning and realize that I moved all my clothes to Highland! So I'm wearing some very mismatching winter get-ups right now. I'll have to make a trip over to Highland before church. Better head out like...now!

I can't wait until Tyler is back in SLO-Town! :)

Okay, gotta jet...see ya!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! I have to admit...right now I really miss my dad. I'll be picking Easter Lilies for him tomorrow.

Good Friday

What a good day. And I didn't even get everything done (oops). But it's a good ending to a rather stressful finals week.

I was up pretty early this morning. By 8:15am I was in the shower and at 9am talking on the phone with a Boeing representative to talk about an internship offer. 9:30am I was at Apple Farm a half hour early listening to music in my car and reading a book after making phone calls to the CSC Department and a few ACM officers to track down lost money. At 10am I walked in with my wonderful friends of five years Kendra, Chris G., Dan, David, Matt, and Ryan for our annual end of the quarter breakfast at Apple Farm. Our group is dwindling. We already lost a few last quarter, and this quarter we'll be losing four more. :( But hopefully these breakfasts will continue until at least two are left. I love talking with all of them and laughing comes so easy. I was sitting there eating my scone and thinking about everything that's gone on in each of our lives over the past five years. How each one of us has a different story, and has already been through such highs and lows with other people and friends, and still...history brings us all back together today. It's like a narrative movie...the camera pans on each person and I get to describe them in a still frame.

We take a picture together for old times sake...


Wow I think this is the first time I've ever uploaded a picture into my blog. I should backtrack and add for other entries lol.

After Apple Farm, it's a lot of hugs and goodbyes and then it's off to campus to take care of some departmental stuff with Diane and Cindy. Apparently some hard earned sponsorship money is somewhere out there, cashed, but not by us! Plus doing some new faculty candidate evaluations and working traveling logistics for Chicago are in order.

I send a quick text to a friend who had mentioned a BBQ the night before. I don't have any plans, and I'd love to see him again before everyone leaves town. He replies and after I finish my errands and talk to Nate in the hallway...let's get off topic for a second here...so I see Nate in the hallway and he's off to take his last final. The kid is wearing earth colors, slacks, suspenders, and filled in his shirt so he has a gut. It was hilarious. He's about to walk into the men's bathroom to put on his beard and I say that I've got to see this so he says come help me out and changes direction walking right into the women's bathroom instead. I'm thinking whoa! Haha but it was funny and I like the boldness. The guy at the drinking fountain next to the bathroom just starred lolz. I love the great people in my life.

Anyways...back from the tangent...I swing by to pick up my friend at his apartment and I feel like a jerk because even though I'm trying to get off the phone with another friend, she keeps talking so when he comes out I barely even get to say hi. That was really rude of me and I feel bad. But then, I feel even worse because right after I hang up I get another call from a Disney recruiter. I know that it's crunch time and I've been getting calls all over the place from companies giving me their final pitches to work there..."you are one of our strongest candidates" and "the managers kind of had to fight over you" and "you stood out because you're different from the rest of the people we interviewed." I love to hear that, but who knows how many people they say that to. I know that if I don't pick up, it'll probably end up being a game of phone tag, so I take the call and my poor friend just sits in the car waiting oh so patiently. The recruiter does some kind of psychoanalysis of me and she's actually pretty accurate. Despite how different I am from the other candidates and that she said that I would want to expand out and not stay in their group for long, she still wants to move forward with the offer and bring me down to meet me in person. I thought that was cool. We'll talk again on Monday.

Well...after the conversation, we take off to barely a mile away and stop at a nice corner house on California. I didn't know what to expect. I had kinda thought it would be a household who's roommates had all invited friends. This wasn't the case. It was all guys, and all a very close-knit group of guys. I almost panicked because I didn't know anyone and felt like I was intruding on their space. But hey, March Madness was on to make everything all good. Plus the guys were pretty chill. And after getting to know them better playing some volleyball at the rec center, I think they're a pretty awesome group. What a fun crowd. It was a great ending to my finals week. And thank goodness I didn't suck really bad playing volleyball haha...just a little bit. :P
My friend was really sweet and waited for me to grab my stuff while his friends took off. I don't know why I drove him home afterwards. I keep forgetting that he lives like...right next to campus.

It was then back to the Grad Lab to finish up some work and hang out. We played a few games before I took off for Good Friday service at Grace with Kendra, Linz, and David. They all leave tomorrow morning and I might not see them all again together! :( I'm missing out on Tahoe, which is where that whole group of friends is going since I opted to go to Minnesota instead. It's okay...I don't regret it. But I forgot to take into account that Tahoe would have been one of my last fun experience with my freshman year friends. They're graduating and leaving me...I'm going to miss them dearly...especially Kendra cause she was my best girlfriend in the CSC Department. A girl always needs her best girlfriend in the CSC Department lol.

AJ the Mutt

Did I mention that my mom plans on giving our dog away?! I'm sooooo sad! I'm so in love with AJ. But apparently the rest of the family at home doesn't do their part in proper training so he pees in the house a lot. Honestly, I don't think it's because he's dumb. It's because of habit, and because the guys in the house are too lazy to open the back door for him to go outside. AJ will wait at the back door when he has to go.

He's very unique. A mutt...a very smart mutt. He's not a dog that goes around just doing his thing and content when people want him to come to them, or to pet him, or put him in his cage. This dog is clever and witty. He'll get out of his cage somehow some way. He knows when you want him to come to pet him and play vs. pick him up and give him a shower. It's weird...this dog actually assesses his decisions. He'll pause and cock his head, then make a decision and stick to it. He's also got an attitude. He's more human than any dog I know. And when I think of human, I think of a teen in his rebellious years. Of course...a very popular and lovable teen in his rebellious years. He's a good dog though and a very good cuddle buddy. I love him so much! I wish I could keep him up here in SLO with me, but alas, my lease says no pets. Sigh.

Jobs and Life

Goodness it's midnight already. Why can't I just sit down and concentrate for more than 20 minutes at a time. At this rate, I should try that theory that says you work very efficiently if you sleep for 20 minutes and work for 20 minutes, then sleep for 20 minutes and work for 20 minutes. I don't really believe it, but someone out there says it works. I think what would happen is that I'd fall asleep and not wake up until tomorrow morning. Ahhh, my final is in less than 9 hours!

I spent most of my day in my room...and it was nice. It's like the world stopped moving for once lol. Well...other than lunch on campus for interviewing a new faculty candidate. I also got to know another student better at lunch named Reed. He's got a lot of potential I think. So hopefully he'll be able to get more involved in ACM. I feel like that's my new job now...talent recruiter...for everything from jobs to clubs to friends haha.

I talked to Mum a little earlier this evening. I'm not sure what to do about this summer. I don't have much to complain about really. I've turned down "next steps" with companies like Agilent, St. Jude, Raytheon, IBM and others. They're great companies, but offered me projects that I'm not gung ho about. I've got four active (or passively active) relations with Boeing, Rockwell Collins, CNet.com, and Disneyland. I kind of want to do them all! But they all have issues it seems like. Boeing is just really slow to respond to anything, but I'd love to go to Seattle for the summer. Rockwell is also really slow, and I'm not even sure about Iowa, but the people out there are amazing. CNet.com is something that really interests me, and they want me to accept or reject their offer by this upcoming Monday latest (oh my!), but it's in San Francisco (not to hot on the big big city), and the pay is significantly lower than the other jobs and has no benefits or housing allowances or anything (grrr). Disneyland wants me to visit them onsite for an interview, and it sounds really cool, but not as cool as CNet.com, despite the fact that it would be great to be back in SoCal for the summer with my family and friends. Of course, the biggest issue with them is that they just interviewed me for the first time today and want to take a few more steps, while CNet.com was quick and want me to accept an offer by Monday. But how cool would that be to get into Disneyland for free? Ha I guess not that cool since I've lived 20 minutes away from it since I can remember...it really is just another big corporation.

So after some major thinking, I'm going to contact all the pending companies one last time and give them a chance to get their act together or speed things up. Otherwise, I'm accepting CNet's offer despite the lower pay and no benefits in a location that I'm not stoked about (don't get me wrong, I like SF, I just wouldn't want to live there)...just because I want to learn more about the job field. I hope I love it because if I don't then everything will seem rather regrettable. But hey, mom says that once I make a decision, there's no looking back. And I say...it's all what you make of it anyways. :) I think a lot of people I know will be in the bay area too...again, so that should be fun...even though meeting new people sometimes is the best part of going somewhere new.

Remember this night Michelle. You'll look back ten years from now and only remember that this summer you worked at CNet.com (probably), and tonight was the night you made that decision. Hey, it's a pretty big decision. I think it would be pretty life changing to go somewhere new like Seattle, Iowa, or even back home since I haven't been home in such a long time. I've already been to the bay area. It's so-so, but always has potential for quite another adventure. :)

Awesome Day Yay

Sooo excited! Well...more like just happy. I'm happy these days I feel like I've finally got things right. Right with what you ask? Well, not everything is perfect, but looking ahead, that's what I've finally got right. So...I'm gonna let the broken things in the past go (ie bad grades from my mild depression early in the quarter) and look forward to a really productive quarter cause believe it or not I really like to learn!

That and getting my work back on track. As well as digging deeper in my faith...more like a "THANK YOU" for getting me out of my lil ole inwardly looking self. I'm keeping active somewhat, but I'd like to be on a more regular schedule. So I'm gonna make a goal right now to make more specific goals for next quarter. Lol. I'll do it over spring break.

As far as outlook goes, Joel hit it right on the spot tonight. I was for so long looking inwards and at my own issues and into the past. But it's like someone finally plucked me out of the dark room and placed me outdoors on green grass under the sun. Silly analogy...I really can't describe it. I'm still the same, but the person I was only a month or so ago and now is...completely new. I don't cry, I don't dwell, I just am. And am happy again. It's amazing. I don't think anyone thought I'd get here haha...okay, so they probably did, but I'm sure they were giving up hope by now. The nice thing is that I think I got here the right way. For so long I wanted attention, sympathy, and to flat out just run away from the problem. But being right in the midst of it all this time, and going through all the ups and downs and hurt...all the sudden, I'm okay. I don't feel anything (but it's not like the emptiness unfeeling I had before). I'm just happy...whether I'm alone, with friends, doing something productive, taking time out to myself, going to meetings, or hanging out with Erik. It's all good. Enjoy the time and look forward to the next time.

It's been quite a day today. I spent a good portion of it packing up a lot of my loose items in my room and around my house. I stuck it all in boxes and stacked the boxes and bags in my closet. But I don't think my room has ever been this clean! After just sitting in the presence of such a clean and orderly space (how it should be!), I did some reading for Philosophy. What I should be reading for is Autonomous Robotics lol. Anyways, that gave me a later start on the rest of my evening after a shower and a trip to the grocery store to buy food. I had decided tonight on Broiled Salmon and Asparagus Chicken Crepes. The salmon was amazingly easy to make. I should do it more often! The crepes were tricky and I wouldn't have gotten it done without the help of everyone who showed up for dinner tonight! I had Ty washing asparagus, making crepes, and mixing ingredients. Russell washed the strawberry tomatoes and poured the wine. Kendra and Linz set the table. And Joel got his hands dirty shredding chicken. It all turned out good...real good.

Mmm...dinner, talk, and pie. :) What a great evening. And such wonderful people! Most of my favorite people for the most part. I just wish I took pictures. I can't wait to do it again next quarter.

It gets even better though. Desserts with our old Tenaya Bible Study at Applebee's! I was a little bit late at 9:30pm, but it was alright. We ended up staying until 11pm! It was great to see Alyse and Tiffany. I don't get to see them as much these days. Everyone else I'm still in close contact with for the most part. Then it was back home to the guitar and writing about what a sweet day it was.

I'm lying down and typing now. I'm about to pass out once again in front of my computer. Good thing Russell isn't here to dork me.

Silly Me

Life is good. :)

Russell is going to pay for his dorkings. Grrr.....

I like ice cream.

Joel call me back so I have an excuse to get ice cream!

Autonomous Robotics paper due tonight ugh. Almost. Over.

I almost wish I didn't have any plans this weekend...it's what I say now lol. I'm sure if I didn't have any plans I'd wish I had plans haha.

Content and happy. I think I'm love healthy again. I don't like drama so life's been real good lately.

Randomness is setting in. I think I'm still exhausted from last week. Pi Day went well yesterday. :) Lots of people. I can perhaps post pictures later...

Chocolate Chex

I am officially a fan of Chocolate Chex. Good stuff mmmm... :)

Ear Lavage

I can hear! :) Always praise the lord and don't take things for granted...

That includes the Cal Poly Health Center.

Deafness

Well it has been a different week than usual…not that any week is ever the same for me. I’ve pretty much been walking around with a “hearing disability.” Quite frustrating really, not being able to hear out of my left ear because it is plugged up with wax. And instead of my other senses being heightened (probably because I’m not deaf, but all of the sounds come from one side of my head, and are muted on the other side…plus I hear everything inside my head lol), my sense are all garbled and I just get confused. I’m more tired and antisocial lately too. Probably because I might be getting a bit ill and burnt out. And I don’t talk as much because I can’t gauge how loud my speaking level is. I feel like I’m talking really loud at times and other people look at me confused and go “What?” Grr…I want this to go away! I’m getting to a point when people talk to me and I just nod and smile even though I don’t know exactly what they are saying. I’ll catch some words and spend a few seconds afterwards trying to piece it together and fill in the gaps into something that makes sense.

Still Around

I haven't been doing much these days. I've been keeping my mind on a one track path, and keeping my eyes and thoughts from wandering off. At the same time, it keeps me from being as productive as I once was. I guess that I work as an all or nothing GSD type. When I have a lot of responsibility and stress I get a lot done. When I don't have a ton to do, I get almost nothing done.

But I'm gaining back my sanity...or whatever you want to call it...self? In other words, I guess I'm moving on. I can actually identify potentials now lol, although I don't know what I'd pursue...or even how to sheesh. I guess I'm looking for someone to like me first. Someone who is a leader and has a good heart.

This isn't much of a story. Here I'll tell a story.

I went on a date the past two evenings. I don't know if it was really a date, but depending on how you define it it could be. We went to see the Heidi Chronicals and to the Spring Choir Concert with a larger group of my friends. It was fun. Relaxing. Long lol. He was sweet...very sweet. The only thing that confuses me is that he's shy and quiet, and at the same time not really because he's not afraid to bust a move on the dance floor haha. Anyways, it was fun. I'd hang out with him again.