Do you ever look back on past messages, or texts, or whatever it is you have that jots down some sort of communication and think...wow they're all over the place...happy, sad, funny, random...and you think, I don't know who I am anymore. And all the sudden I'm defensive and everyone seems to have their opinion and corrects me in this and that and tells me what ideas are good and what aren't. And I've always been more of the listen and take in what other people say as being more true than what I might think (unless I know they're wrong). Even more is when I know what's good and what isn't and I still do the wrong thing. Like having a whole day to work, and staring off into space half the time. I never used to let time waste like that. I was so productive that I couldn't even believe it at the end of the day, and now...it's poop. I don't want to use the word depressed, but something doesn't fit right...or I just don't fit right with life.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, but he's picking me up when I'm down which is great...except the part where I'm down in the first place. Wait a second....I didn't used to be down before...at least not in the past two years. I guess I feel useless and trapped in the area between college and real world. And I can't seem to get out of it. Why is my life never normal...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Lent
Although the nature of the observance varies, there are three widely accepted "pillars" of Lent: prayer, fasting, and service to the poor.
Note to self. :)
Note to self. :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Road Trip to Arkansas
It's been a while eh?
Last week was an adventure. I drove out with Steffen to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and back to San Luis Obispo, California in one week...Monday to Sunday. We went through Bakersfield, Flagstaff, Albuquerque, Amarillo, Oklahoma City, to Eureka Springs. We pretty much took the same way back detouring from Flagstaff to Pheonix (Surprise and Tempe in particular) and Yorba Linda (my home) before getting back to SLO at about 2am.
It was fun! Though the snow storm through Flagstaff was a bit intimidating...a little scared for my life, but Steffen is a good driver so I wasn't too worried...despite not being able to see through the windshield since the snow was coming directly at it at relatively high speeds...and icy roads. Haha. Anyways, we pulled off and slept in the car under and overpass sharing a sleeping bag across the middle console. Can't say it was too comfy, but we were warm enough.
Eureka Springs is a nice place. Small town in the hills with a funky vibe. The weather temperature was great though and I loved playing with the pups. It was like a mini vacation.
We got to visit and stay with my best friend Ku'uipo on the way back through Arizona. Her parents have a very large house there...housing market isn't as terrible as California lol. We went out with her friends to downtown Tempe that night at the Big Bang Dueling Piano Bar and Margarita Rocks (I think that was it) before heading back up to Surprise to pass out for the night...we were exhausted. 8-12 hours of driving a day will do that to ya lol.
Last week was an adventure. I drove out with Steffen to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and back to San Luis Obispo, California in one week...Monday to Sunday. We went through Bakersfield, Flagstaff, Albuquerque, Amarillo, Oklahoma City, to Eureka Springs. We pretty much took the same way back detouring from Flagstaff to Pheonix (Surprise and Tempe in particular) and Yorba Linda (my home) before getting back to SLO at about 2am.
It was fun! Though the snow storm through Flagstaff was a bit intimidating...a little scared for my life, but Steffen is a good driver so I wasn't too worried...despite not being able to see through the windshield since the snow was coming directly at it at relatively high speeds...and icy roads. Haha. Anyways, we pulled off and slept in the car under and overpass sharing a sleeping bag across the middle console. Can't say it was too comfy, but we were warm enough.
Eureka Springs is a nice place. Small town in the hills with a funky vibe. The weather temperature was great though and I loved playing with the pups. It was like a mini vacation.
We got to visit and stay with my best friend Ku'uipo on the way back through Arizona. Her parents have a very large house there...housing market isn't as terrible as California lol. We went out with her friends to downtown Tempe that night at the Big Bang Dueling Piano Bar and Margarita Rocks (I think that was it) before heading back up to Surprise to pass out for the night...we were exhausted. 8-12 hours of driving a day will do that to ya lol.
Friday, November 21, 2008
North Carolina
Ah, just when the title makes one think that I went to visit North Carolina, all I have to say of my sight-seeing experience was the inside of the Embassy Suites hotel in Durhan/Raleigh. Makes me laugh to think about it really.
I flew out of San Luis Obispo at 9:45am PST on a warm Tuesday morning. Flew through San Francisco and Chicago. Landed in Raleigh/Durham and checked into the hotel at 11:00pm EST. That was a long day. I met another Cal Poly student headed to the event from SFO on to O'Hare and to Raleigh. And then I also noticed a student at O'Hare who became friends with me on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. Not to mention another student who goes to Stanford and knows two of my friends at Cal Poly from working at Agilent this past summer. What a small world. :)
Gorgeous hotel. (Not so gorgeous weather...25 degrees and below isn't ideal for flip flops I've decided). Back to the hotel though...essentially a forest smack in the middle. And the suites were really nice. Living room, bar/fridge area, bathroom, and bedroom. Two beds! Tough decision...which one should I sleep in haha. I got my stuff all laid out for the next day and pulled together some homework and then some studying for the interview. I was asleep by what...3:00am EST. The interview event started at 7:00am EST...ie 4:00am PST. Which essentially meant waking up at 5:30am EST...2:30am PST to start the day. Believe me I was in a haze all morning. As I'm sure all the west coasters were lol.
In the end, I have to say that it was kind of silly to come all the way out for two 30-minute interviews, but at the same time, the friends and connections I made mingling on the side were invaluable. I had bought the text that they were testing us on, and within two days have gone from knowing nothing to something about networks. *pats self on back* This is just such an exciting experience (minus the flying). I had fun and that tells me a lot. The people I met were awesome...really bright, down to earth, friendly, and real. And I hope to see them again soon. :)
Left North Carolina at 5:15pm EST to Pheonix, AZ with its 74 degree weather. Then split off from my new found friends to San Luis Obispo (they were all headed up to San Jose). Of course go figure there'd be something wrong with the plane so we were de-planed into an airport that had shut down all its food courts. Anything going to San Luis Obispo is bound to have problems or delays haha. Though I pretty much had it coming with all my good fly luck thus far (flights were even arriving early!). Twitter pretty much kept me occupied as my iPod had died on me. Got in at 10:45pm PST on Wednesday night. Slept really well that night. Now just anticipating results. And catching up with school like no other.
I flew out of San Luis Obispo at 9:45am PST on a warm Tuesday morning. Flew through San Francisco and Chicago. Landed in Raleigh/Durham and checked into the hotel at 11:00pm EST. That was a long day. I met another Cal Poly student headed to the event from SFO on to O'Hare and to Raleigh. And then I also noticed a student at O'Hare who became friends with me on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. Not to mention another student who goes to Stanford and knows two of my friends at Cal Poly from working at Agilent this past summer. What a small world. :)
Gorgeous hotel. (Not so gorgeous weather...25 degrees and below isn't ideal for flip flops I've decided). Back to the hotel though...essentially a forest smack in the middle. And the suites were really nice. Living room, bar/fridge area, bathroom, and bedroom. Two beds! Tough decision...which one should I sleep in haha. I got my stuff all laid out for the next day and pulled together some homework and then some studying for the interview. I was asleep by what...3:00am EST. The interview event started at 7:00am EST...ie 4:00am PST. Which essentially meant waking up at 5:30am EST...2:30am PST to start the day. Believe me I was in a haze all morning. As I'm sure all the west coasters were lol.
In the end, I have to say that it was kind of silly to come all the way out for two 30-minute interviews, but at the same time, the friends and connections I made mingling on the side were invaluable. I had bought the text that they were testing us on, and within two days have gone from knowing nothing to something about networks. *pats self on back* This is just such an exciting experience (minus the flying). I had fun and that tells me a lot. The people I met were awesome...really bright, down to earth, friendly, and real. And I hope to see them again soon. :)
Left North Carolina at 5:15pm EST to Pheonix, AZ with its 74 degree weather. Then split off from my new found friends to San Luis Obispo (they were all headed up to San Jose). Of course go figure there'd be something wrong with the plane so we were de-planed into an airport that had shut down all its food courts. Anything going to San Luis Obispo is bound to have problems or delays haha. Though I pretty much had it coming with all my good fly luck thus far (flights were even arriving early!). Twitter pretty much kept me occupied as my iPod had died on me. Got in at 10:45pm PST on Wednesday night. Slept really well that night. Now just anticipating results. And catching up with school like no other.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sales Engineering
So here's a random story.
I applied for a position about two years ago with a company's sales engineering program because I was interested in it. Of course they said well you're not graduating yet, so that was a no go. Then I tried again the next year and they turned me down based on minimum requirements. This year I was a bit discouraged from the previous years and with my experience I wasn't too worried about a job anyways (I wouldn't even be too worried graduating without one either...mostly because life is going to move forward no matter what...and something will happen I'm sure). My turn to sound arrogant: I am invaluable and if a company doesn't recognize that it is their loss. At the same time, I say that only because I know that I will do well at something I love. I'm so ready to take on this world and make my impact. I'm not really arrogant (though a certain individual might snicker at that haha).
Anyways, though I did not get a chance to visit them at the career fair, I got a call from one of the recruiters who had my resume from (who knows when), asking to talk later that week. I was thinking well, if they are willing to call me, then sure. I thought it was for development, so I didn't take it too seriously. Anyways, the day comes and I had just gotten back from on-site interviews in San Jose (there and back in one day), and slept right through the early morning interview. Of course, the guy had called me over a half-hour late due to meetings, so we were both on pretty even ground lol. Rescheduling, we talk later and I find out it is not for development, but instead the sales engineering position that I'd had my eye on for years. Okay I am all ears now!
I make it past the first round interview. The second interview came way late because there is someone else with my name applying and they had accidently contacted her instead of me. Don't think it was til I emailed them that they realized their mistake. Unfortunately for me then was a rushed scheduling right after my return from Baltimore, MD (SWE Conference). I was nervous! But I made it through. Some explanations, questions, experiences. Passed on to the final round: On-site. Next week. East coast. And just like that, a position I applied for bout two years ago determined where I might be a year from now. Amazing. I don't know if I got it yet, but it's what I want to do and I hope that it shows.
I refuse to get a motorcycle for myself until I accept a job offer.
I applied for a position about two years ago with a company's sales engineering program because I was interested in it. Of course they said well you're not graduating yet, so that was a no go. Then I tried again the next year and they turned me down based on minimum requirements. This year I was a bit discouraged from the previous years and with my experience I wasn't too worried about a job anyways (I wouldn't even be too worried graduating without one either...mostly because life is going to move forward no matter what...and something will happen I'm sure). My turn to sound arrogant: I am invaluable and if a company doesn't recognize that it is their loss. At the same time, I say that only because I know that I will do well at something I love. I'm so ready to take on this world and make my impact. I'm not really arrogant (though a certain individual might snicker at that haha).
Anyways, though I did not get a chance to visit them at the career fair, I got a call from one of the recruiters who had my resume from (who knows when), asking to talk later that week. I was thinking well, if they are willing to call me, then sure. I thought it was for development, so I didn't take it too seriously. Anyways, the day comes and I had just gotten back from on-site interviews in San Jose (there and back in one day), and slept right through the early morning interview. Of course, the guy had called me over a half-hour late due to meetings, so we were both on pretty even ground lol. Rescheduling, we talk later and I find out it is not for development, but instead the sales engineering position that I'd had my eye on for years. Okay I am all ears now!
I make it past the first round interview. The second interview came way late because there is someone else with my name applying and they had accidently contacted her instead of me. Don't think it was til I emailed them that they realized their mistake. Unfortunately for me then was a rushed scheduling right after my return from Baltimore, MD (SWE Conference). I was nervous! But I made it through. Some explanations, questions, experiences. Passed on to the final round: On-site. Next week. East coast. And just like that, a position I applied for bout two years ago determined where I might be a year from now. Amazing. I don't know if I got it yet, but it's what I want to do and I hope that it shows.
I refuse to get a motorcycle for myself until I accept a job offer.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Prioritizing
How on earth do I continue to do this to myself? Of course, no body is surprised that I might be talking about doing too much. Too many commitments. Is it so bad though? I get a lot out of each. I get to learn some great new technology and share new ideas and be a backbone to something that makes a difference.
Either way, I am still behind in school. Dance I am barely keeping up with (even though it's my favorite) because I can dance fine, but haven't studied all the history and diagrams. Capstone is dominating my time. And Programming Languages...don't even get me started.
I need to re-evaluate my priorities. There is always going to be a long list of things to do. Now which ones are really important...which ones will affect me the most?
Priority numbero uno right now: sleep. Okay I'll start with that one.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Week 1 Milestone
Well I've managed to get through my first week back at Cal Poly. I am not in my best condition though I must admit. For one, I am most definitely sick, but it's the kind where you can still keep going with that limp. Perhaps I should have just slept all of today. Not that I had a choice since I had to wake up at 7am to get ready for church sermons and such. But gone back to sleep...that would have been nice. Ah well. It was a good day. But I'm definitely not feeling any healthier. My throat is dry and constricted, I can't breathe, and my head kind of throbs. Ugh. But at least nothing hurts.
Anywho, enough about the bad stuff. Week one was great. I'm taking Programming Languages I, Software Requirements Capstone, Artificial Intelligence, and Ballroom Dancing. I'm highly considering dropping AI since I don't need it. Capstone is going to be awesome (we're working with Intuit), and PL is gonna kick my ass. Bring it! A note about Ballroom Dancing...I am the only Asian in the class (with the exception of the instructor herself), and I am by far the tallest girl in class. By at least two inches from the next tallest girl (there are maybe about 3 or 4 in this height range) and at least 6-8 inches from all the rest of the girls in class. It is ridiculous how tiny some of these girls are. Who knew?
I've also discovered something about myself. I always thought that I had a problem with dry lectures (who doesn't), but now I realize that I'm falling asleep in most of my lectures and have to try extremely hard to stay awake or keep my eyes from getting heavy. I'm not even talking about dry lectures. I was very engaged some of the lectures this week, but found myself getting heavy eye lids despite this until I started focusing on something completely different, like taking out my laptop and surfing the web (bad I know), or letting my thoughts wander into solving a problem outside of class or something. I have the hardest time staying focused...and when I am, I get heavy eyelids. I even get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, which is a big difference from previous years. I can't win!
Anywho, enough about the bad stuff. Week one was great. I'm taking Programming Languages I, Software Requirements Capstone, Artificial Intelligence, and Ballroom Dancing. I'm highly considering dropping AI since I don't need it. Capstone is going to be awesome (we're working with Intuit), and PL is gonna kick my ass. Bring it! A note about Ballroom Dancing...I am the only Asian in the class (with the exception of the instructor herself), and I am by far the tallest girl in class. By at least two inches from the next tallest girl (there are maybe about 3 or 4 in this height range) and at least 6-8 inches from all the rest of the girls in class. It is ridiculous how tiny some of these girls are. Who knew?
I've also discovered something about myself. I always thought that I had a problem with dry lectures (who doesn't), but now I realize that I'm falling asleep in most of my lectures and have to try extremely hard to stay awake or keep my eyes from getting heavy. I'm not even talking about dry lectures. I was very engaged some of the lectures this week, but found myself getting heavy eye lids despite this until I started focusing on something completely different, like taking out my laptop and surfing the web (bad I know), or letting my thoughts wander into solving a problem outside of class or something. I have the hardest time staying focused...and when I am, I get heavy eyelids. I even get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, which is a big difference from previous years. I can't win!
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