Sooo excited! Well...more like just happy. I'm happy these days I feel like I've finally got things right. Right with what you ask? Well, not everything is perfect, but looking ahead, that's what I've finally got right. So...I'm gonna let the broken things in the past go (ie bad grades from my mild depression early in the quarter) and look forward to a really productive quarter cause believe it or not I really like to learn!
That and getting my work back on track. As well as digging deeper in my faith...more like a "THANK YOU" for getting me out of my lil ole inwardly looking self. I'm keeping active somewhat, but I'd like to be on a more regular schedule. So I'm gonna make a goal right now to make more specific goals for next quarter. Lol. I'll do it over spring break.
As far as outlook goes, Joel hit it right on the spot tonight. I was for so long looking inwards and at my own issues and into the past. But it's like someone finally plucked me out of the dark room and placed me outdoors on green grass under the sun. Silly analogy...I really can't describe it. I'm still the same, but the person I was only a month or so ago and now is...completely new. I don't cry, I don't dwell, I just am. And am happy again. It's amazing. I don't think anyone thought I'd get here haha...okay, so they probably did, but I'm sure they were giving up hope by now. The nice thing is that I think I got here the right way. For so long I wanted attention, sympathy, and to flat out just run away from the problem. But being right in the midst of it all this time, and going through all the ups and downs and hurt...all the sudden, I'm okay. I don't feel anything (but it's not like the emptiness unfeeling I had before). I'm just happy...whether I'm alone, with friends, doing something productive, taking time out to myself, going to meetings, or hanging out with Erik. It's all good. Enjoy the time and look forward to the next time.
It's been quite a day today. I spent a good portion of it packing up a lot of my loose items in my room and around my house. I stuck it all in boxes and stacked the boxes and bags in my closet. But I don't think my room has ever been this clean! After just sitting in the presence of such a clean and orderly space (how it should be!), I did some reading for Philosophy. What I should be reading for is Autonomous Robotics lol. Anyways, that gave me a later start on the rest of my evening after a shower and a trip to the grocery store to buy food. I had decided tonight on Broiled Salmon and Asparagus Chicken Crepes. The salmon was amazingly easy to make. I should do it more often! The crepes were tricky and I wouldn't have gotten it done without the help of everyone who showed up for dinner tonight! I had Ty washing asparagus, making crepes, and mixing ingredients. Russell washed the strawberry tomatoes and poured the wine. Kendra and Linz set the table. And Joel got his hands dirty shredding chicken. It all turned out good...real good.
Mmm...dinner, talk, and pie. :) What a great evening. And such wonderful people! Most of my favorite people for the most part. I just wish I took pictures. I can't wait to do it again next quarter.
It gets even better though. Desserts with our old Tenaya Bible Study at Applebee's! I was a little bit late at 9:30pm, but it was alright. We ended up staying until 11pm! It was great to see Alyse and Tiffany. I don't get to see them as much these days. Everyone else I'm still in close contact with for the most part. Then it was back home to the guitar and writing about what a sweet day it was.
I'm lying down and typing now. I'm about to pass out once again in front of my computer. Good thing Russell isn't here to dork me.
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